Why I am also The Walrus

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 05:16:18 GMT

The next time was a riskier affair. And I mean that second word in every sense.

Linda, the kids and I were staying in a hotel where, incidentally, there was a party where it was rumoured John would be. I was determined to avoid him for the sake of my marriage, but it wasn't to be; I just went into the ground floor toilets and...

I'm standing at the urinal, pissing, when he arrives. It's then that I realise why I haven't seen him already; obviously he was waiting for the most inappropiate moment to drop in.

"Hey, there, buddy." A fake American accent with just a hint of a druken giggle.

I fight the urge to spin around and thus wee on my designer shoes, which is what he was hoping for. Can't let him win all the time. Finally he comes to me, standing beside me and staring shamelessly.

I zip myself up before he gets any ideas, and move to the sink to wash my hands. "Hi John," I say, guardedly, not trying to show that this is actually kind of exciting and my heart's going wild just at the thought of hearing my real name again.

"What a place for the Beatles reunion, ey?"

I glance around. They're quite classy bogs, actually, as befits a five-star hotel. "I dunno. I've seen worse. Besides, it's not a proper reunion unless you've got George and Ringo stashed away in those cubicles."

He grins. "Nah, but it's the first time I've seen you since the split."

"No it's not."

"What?"

"Ringo's party? Six months ago?"

"Don't remember..."

"You came on to me." I glance around the empty room, nervously as always. Hey, it may be legal now, but I don't exactly want any journalists writing stuff about Paul 'cause of me. "You kissed me."

He shoots me a predatory smile and moves a few steps closer, his fingertips grazing up my arm, breath on my lips...

I grab his arm. "John..." I can't think of anything to say. 'I don't want it' would be a lie. "No." I finish lamely, sounding like I'm talking to Martha, and make for the door.

"Goodbye, Paul" He says loudly. I wince, and leave.

~

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 06:13:48 GMT

Joey Molland in a santa hat!

Yep, that's it.

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 16:10:38 GMT

I present: my all-new shiny shiny avatar! Paul. Fool on the Hill. Beautiful.

Warning: Album reviews may follow.

Thu, 08 Sep 2005 15:47:24 GMT

The people I know will never cease to astound me with their incredible ability to put two and two together and come up with five, or as Pterry put it, six and a half, or maybe an egg.

In this case, two and two is my hippiness and Beatles obsession, and five is 'does drugs'. Six and a half or maybe an egg possibly refers to the various kinds of drugs they were insinuating that I did, but you must bear two things in mind here: one, I tend to get very confusing when I take things to their logical conclusion and two, by then, I stopped listening.

But yeah. Never done drugs. Been referred to as 'LSD in human form' once and occaisionally had people speculate about the existence of natural blood pot, but never actually done them. In fact I remember in Year Seven I came up with an anti-drugs campaign characterised by the typically bizzare slogan 'Don't do drugs - eat apples!'

As you may expect among young teenagers, the general reaction to this rumour, the origin of which I know not, was 'Cool.' And when I 'downplayed' (aka denied) it, I was just being 'cool'. It wouldn't normally - not in, say, my best friend's school or among my usual group of friends. It'd just be nothing out of the ordinary.

Which, of course, made me realise just how much my mindset doesn't fit with that of the kids I go to school with - even more than last year. How much they're all talk, never shutting up about sex, drugs and rock n' roll, but never doing any of them. In this kind of company, my one-out-of-three score (rock n' roll, in case you were wondering), rumoured two-out-of-three, is pretty damn good. So I realise that I - yes, unpopular, bookish, smart, 'Goth', hippy-dippy Jet - am actually closer to this mystical 'hardcore' they talk about than they stand to be for a long time. No, I haven't done weed, but they don't even know what it smells like.

By their standards - pretty sad, hmm?

Jet

Why I am Also the Walrus

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 13:07:57 GMT

Hi, this is Jet, writing to tell you why she is also The Walrus. Yes, John is The Walrus, just like he said.. er, sang. And equally, as per the 'little clue' in Glass Onion, so is Paul. And according to some book I saw on Amazon, so is Ringo. My usual course of action here would be to say that it's George because I'm like that, but I have stumbled upon a great hidden secret.

'I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together'.

So, technically, we're all whoever he's talking about, we're all him, and he's the Walrus, so we must also be the Walrus!

Beat that.

Okay, here's a thing - hands up anyone who's reading this and knows what my other screenname is just from that. I'm hoping no one. I'm here to write a LiveJournal dammit, a place to randomly rant about my life to no one or no one who cares, and the fact that I knew for a fact a certain someone would still be reading my old one kind of ruins the concept.

Have fun, anyone who might be around. Hi. And sing it with me.. Jet! Ooh-oo-oo-ooh-oo-oo-ooh-oooh!